Any chance you’ve been overthinking anything of late?
If you’re at all like me, that’s a definite yes.
Since I’m guessing I’m not alone in my capacity to lend excessive thought to an issue, I thought I’d share some useful information I came across this week on how to think about (more thinking?) and manage my overthinking tendency.
The insights came from the work of neuroscientist Dr. Caroline Leaf, who just published her latest book, Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess: 5 Simple, Scientifically Proven Steps to Reduce Anxiety, Stress, and Toxic Thinking. The particular insights I’m sharing are from poking around an app that she has created called Neurocycle.
Dr. Leaf points out that “we can go three weeks without food, three days without water, three minutes without oxygen – but we can’t even go for three seconds without thinking.”
Indeed, we do a lot of thinking. It’s clearly important. But, I was reminded that not all thinking is equal thinking.
Do you currently have a student who is now well into their college experience? Looking back, how much time did you spend overthinking whether or not your child would get into the right college for her? And, If her first application responses were declinations, how much time did you spend thinking about whether she'd get into college at all? Were you regularly distracted by thoughts of what you could have done differently to support her? Were you so busy thinking about what might or might not happen that it was difficult to feel present during the last semester of her senior year?
Dr. Leaf points out that overthinking can “steal joy from the present by keeping you locked into regretting the past or fearing the future.”
We've likely experienced this to be true, so what can we do to step out of the overthinking cycle when we catch ourselves in it?
Here are a few strategies that resonated with me that I invite you to try out if they seem helpful.
1) Declare to yourself as frequently as needed, “I will not let my imagination plant improbable futures in my mind.” Smile as you say it because it’s super fun to say! Sure, you don’t control all your thoughts. But you do control your mind, which gives you choice in how you respond to your thoughts. You have the power to uninvite your thoughts of "improbable futures" (like your daughter not going to college at all if that's what she wants to do).
2) Visualize dumping your obsessive thoughts of "improbable futures" into a box and shove them off to sea or empty them into a dumpster. Doing this reminds you that you have the power to keep those unproductive thoughts in a confined space, or better yet, out of mind. Once you recognize and name them, you can intentionally escort them out. They need not overwhelm you nor keep you from being present.
3) Remember there is a difference between overthinking and deep thinking. Deep thinking is solutions-based. Steer yourself towards thinking about practical solutions and follow up with useful actions. It’s a way better use of your time.
4) Talk to a trusted, non-judgmental listener about your thoughts. Verbalizing helps bring clarity to what’s really at issue in our overthinking. We can begin to regain a healthy perspective as we share.
There you have it! More thinking on thinking. Still, this thinking is good thinking that I hope you can use.
Have a great week.
Love,
Molly
Comments